Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Where are the limits?
One of the questions that I have never been able to get an answer from other people is: where are the limits between 2 persons (wife-husband, girlfriend-boyfriend, sex partners) when it comes to things like privacy and how we let the other see us?
I know what my limits are. But they are not static; they vary depending on who I’m with. I remember when I was still a teenager and one day I was in a motel with my ex-boyfriend and went to pee and left the door open. It was natural. We had just had sex! But he freaked out. What was so disgusting about it, if he had just had his dick inside me? It was ok for him to lick my pussy, but it was not ok for us to pee in front of each other. And I’m talking about somebody who, at the time, I had been dating exclusively for 3 years.
I’m not going to pee in front of a person the first time we have sex. But relationships, even casual or non-committed relationship, evolve. Nobody acts the same in the first date that in the fifth. We get more comfortable with time, start talking more freely, and seize the boundaries. We grow!
Now, there is a stop-point. No matter how close I am with my husband I don’t care for him to see me when I’m waxing my pussy, sitting on the little bench in my bathroom, with one leg on the bathtub and the other on the counter, trying to reach the hairs up in my ass. Or when I cover my face with the brownish mascara that dries and breaks like my skin is falling apart. Oh yeah … the beauty of having to look good.
My limits are dictated by my feelings, I let the other see me if I don’t feel embarrassed by the situation. Now, the other person’s feeling also count; since the day my ex-boyfriend freaked out because I pee with the door open, I didn’t do it anymore. But somehow there is a direct relation between the things you feel free to do in front of somebody and how close your souls are. I feel that with my husband I can do anything, and I mean anything, that he wouldn’t freak out. And again, not that I care for him to see me in some situations. He is the most open and understanding person, when it comes to privacy, that I ever met. That’s one of the reasons we are married!
One of the questions that I have never been able to get an answer from other people is: where are the limits between 2 persons (wife-husband, girlfriend-boyfriend, sex partners) when it comes to things like privacy and how we let the other see us?
I know what my limits are. But they are not static; they vary depending on who I’m with. I remember when I was still a teenager and one day I was in a motel with my ex-boyfriend and went to pee and left the door open. It was natural. We had just had sex! But he freaked out. What was so disgusting about it, if he had just had his dick inside me? It was ok for him to lick my pussy, but it was not ok for us to pee in front of each other. And I’m talking about somebody who, at the time, I had been dating exclusively for 3 years.
I’m not going to pee in front of a person the first time we have sex. But relationships, even casual or non-committed relationship, evolve. Nobody acts the same in the first date that in the fifth. We get more comfortable with time, start talking more freely, and seize the boundaries. We grow!
Now, there is a stop-point. No matter how close I am with my husband I don’t care for him to see me when I’m waxing my pussy, sitting on the little bench in my bathroom, with one leg on the bathtub and the other on the counter, trying to reach the hairs up in my ass. Or when I cover my face with the brownish mascara that dries and breaks like my skin is falling apart. Oh yeah … the beauty of having to look good.
My limits are dictated by my feelings, I let the other see me if I don’t feel embarrassed by the situation. Now, the other person’s feeling also count; since the day my ex-boyfriend freaked out because I pee with the door open, I didn’t do it anymore. But somehow there is a direct relation between the things you feel free to do in front of somebody and how close your souls are. I feel that with my husband I can do anything, and I mean anything, that he wouldn’t freak out. And again, not that I care for him to see me in some situations. He is the most open and understanding person, when it comes to privacy, that I ever met. That’s one of the reasons we are married!
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